Good Afternoon your Honor,
Thank you for giving my brother and me this time to remember our Mother.
Diane Louise Kelsey Everett Carhart was more then just a name in the newspaper or local television news...the "Forestdale Woman Killed in Accident". She was a loving, caring person who always had a kind word or a helping hand for anyone she met. When asked to give one word to describe her the word "Friend" comes to our minds first, and quickly.
My mother was my best friend. When I was growing up we moved about every 12 to 18 months due to my father's work with the National Marine Fisheries Service. It seemed that I was always the new kid in school. My mother was my closest consistant friend during those years and on into my adulthood. She was my best friend until March 5, 2007 when she was tragically taken from us. While I didn't necessarily see her each and every day, I did speak to her daily. It is so hard for me to realize and comprehend that she is no longer there to answer the phone.
On the morning of March 5th my Mom called me to say what a great time she had had the night before when we had celebrated my Grandmother (Mom's mother)'s 87th birthday. As we talked we made plans to attend a field trial that my dogs were entered in the following weekend in Falmouth. My husband and I do not have children but Mom always enjoyed cheering on her "granddogs" at the events I participate in with them.. After a few minutes of our conversation she said "Goodbye" and hung up the phone, telling me she was going to run a few errands and swing by the Dunkin' Donuts down the road from her home, at Tradewinds Plaze on Route 130.
A short time later I received a very distraught phone call from my brother. "Sue, Mom's dead!" Those words are forever etched into my mind. I initially thought that he was playing a really bad joke on me...I had just talked to Mom, she wasn't dead. Unfortunately as he told me what had happened the awful truth began to sink in. My mother died while waiting to turn into Tradewinds plaza. She was on her way to Dunkin' Donuts to get a vanilla frosted donut with sprinkles and an ice coffee which she would then take down to the water along the Canal in Sandwich. It was her morning routine. She loved watching the boats come through the canal and meeting new people. She died the day after her mother's 87th birthday and was buried a few days later on her brother's 50th birthday. Instead of attending the field trial we had planned on going to the following weekend I was standing next to her closed coffin, greeting people at her wake and funeral.
As I mentioned, my mother was my friend. She was actually much more then that to me as she was my lifeline in many ways. While the death of a mother is one of the hardest things that we as human beings will experience I not only grieve her loss but I also need my mother!
One year ago, not to long after the death of my Mother's husband, my stepfather Lloyd Carhart, I began having problems with my vision. A MRI revealed that I had a meningioma, a benign but fast growing tumor in my head. Due to it's location it had to be removed. My mother changed her entire work schedule, she was manager of the Childrens Gift Shop at Plimoth Plantation, so that she would be able to take me to the many rounds of doctors appointments at Brigham and Woman's hospital. She was with me on August 17th, 2006 as I awoke in the Neurological Intensive Care Unit after undergoing a 9 hour surgery; a left frontal craniotomy with the removal of the bones in my left orbit which were then replaced by titanium mesh.
I stayed at Mom's house for several weeks after I was released from the hospital and she again stayed with me up in Boston when I was readmitted to the hospital due to complications and cognitive problems I was having as a result of the surgery. Mom had been helping me each week with my rehabilitation, relearning many of the things that we all seem to take for granted.
Last month I went back to Brigham and Woman's hospital for my latest 3 month follow-up MRI and then meeting to read the results with my NeuroSurgeon. This was the first time that I went up there without my Mom. To say that I was a bit nervous to go up there by myself is an understatement. You see, there is still a part of the tumor behind my left eye and eventually I will most likely need another craniotomy. My eyesight is getting worse almost daily so I'm nervous that the tumor is growing back faster then the neurosurgeons had hoped. I don't know how I'm going to be able to get through a second brain surgery without my Mom there to make sure that my meds are correct and otherwise see that I'm alright. My husband is a long-haul trucker so he is gone during the week. I NEED my mother and I am scared about life without her. I need her humor and guidence when I am depressed. Additionally, while it embarrasses me a bit to say it, my mother was helping us out financially by helping to pay the mortgage on our house, paying my numerous perscriptions and providing me with the use of my Stepfather's car due to the fact that I have been out of work for almost a year now because of my health. I don't know what I will do or how I will get through it all now.
Since my mother's death I've also had the return of the migraine headaches that preceeded my surgery. I can not sleep longer then two or three hours at a stretch. I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, an auto-immune disease that can be triggered by stress, major surgery or shock. I have frequent panic attacks, especially when I go to the phone to call my Mom and realize half way through dialing her number that she will not be there to answer, that I will never hear her voice again. All due to the thoughtless, irresponsible and selfish actions of Christopher G. Parker.
There are times that I have nightmares or moments during the day of where I can almost feel her thoughts as she realized that she was dying. One moment she is waiting to make a left turn with her blinker on, watching for the oncoming traffic to clear and the next she is dying. It is as if in her very last moments she is crying out "I don't want to die", "Please don't let me die", "Who will take care of Susie, she needs me! ?" "I want to watch my Grandchildren grow up, please, I don't want to leave them". I know my Mother's thoughts would not be of herself, but of those that she is leaving behind. I can't seem to get those thoughts out of my mind, they haunt me. I am now seeing a therapist and am on anti-depressants and anxiety medication for the first time in my life. There are now times that I am afraid of what the next day will bring.
My mother had just begun to get out of the depression that she had felt due to losing her husband Lloyd after a long illness. My being diagnosed with a brain tumor three months later really effected her also. She was finally starting to move on and live her life to the fullest. Beginning to travel and make plans for the future.
I wanted to be able to give this victim impact statement so that people in this courtroom would have a chance to better know my mother. While recently going through the difficult task of packing up 63 years of her memories and life my brother found an autobiography that our mother had written in 1987 when she was living in Annapolis, Maryland.. I was able to read it as part of an Eulogy during her funeral, which was attended by approximately 350 people. At this time I would like to read a small portion to you in the hope that you will come to know who Diane Louise Kelsey Everett Carhart was and what she meant to her family and friends.
My Autobiography by Diane Carhart
I was born in New Bedford, Massachusetts on October 28, 1943. My parents were and still are a loving, caring couple. I grew up in a large 5 bedroom house in Newtonville, a suburb of Boston, Mass. My father was a college art professor and my mother was a housewife. In the summertime, during school vacation we would go to my grandparents home in Pocasset on Cape Cod.
My parents were pretty strict with my brother and I but never spanked or hit us. They believed in talking with us about a problem so that we would understand what we had done wrong and what our punishment would be. Discipline and punishment were a shared responsibility. They talked it over and decided together on the course of punishment, such as room restriction, no TV or no phone.
On a daily basis I was closest with my mother. She was always there to answer my questions and just talk. If I had a real problem or something bad happened I wanted my dad to be there. Fathers are supposed to be able to fix anything. I want to be like my parents in many ways - understanding, caring and able to talk about anything. As a parent I am fairly strict because one of the main jobs you do as a parent is teach responsibility.
During my school years from 9th grade through high school my favorite subjects were art, science, English and history. While in high school (Fairhaven High) I belonged to the art club, the theater club and was also a member of the junior volunteers at the local hospital. I was President of those volunteers.
During my teenage years I was a happy teenager. My family and friends were reasons to be very happy. It was during my last year in high school that I met my first husband, Dr. John Thomas Everett. We were married 1 year after graduation from high school. I helped him obtain 3 college degrees. During our marriage we moved several times due to his work. - Massachusetts 2 times, Florida 2 times, California once (2 locations), and Virginia 3 times. We had three children - Susan, John Philip (who died of SIDS at 8 months of age) and John Edward Philip. That marriage lasted 18 years.
I met my present husband in 1983 at a party after sailing. I really don’t know what attracted me to him at first. He was very articulate, knowledgeable and friendly. He had a very straight forward, honest approach. He was older than I and was caring and easy to talk to. We decided to marry after going together for two years. We had a small wedding with family and friends in Newport, RI on December 28, 1985. We have taken the time to talk and listen to each other.
There will be no problem that we cannot solve. Our marriage is based on friendship, respect, mutual admiration and love. Since our honeymoon period our relationship has become stronger because we take time to listen to each other.My husband and I share many interests - children, boating and the water (we have a power boat), travel and our home and pets. I am also interested in the foster care program in Maryland, I am on the Anne Arundel County Foster Care Review Board. This was an appointment by the Governor of Maryland. The strengths I bring to our marriage are sensitivity, patience, understanding and love. The only area of disagreement that I can think of is that I am more private about my inner thoughts while my husband is more outgoing.In 1985 I went back to school (business school). I never had the chance to go to college before that time. I graduated with a 3.9 average. I then became the Catering and Banquet Secretary at the Holiday Inn in Annapolis. In the past I’ve taken and completed courses in C.P.R., basic first aid, and passed the test to become an Emergency Medical Technician (E.M.T.) at a time when woman were not generally hired in that field.
There have been many strong influences in my life. The main ones being my parents and famly, religion and my husband Lloyd. My greatest personal achievement was going back to school at age 42 and doing so well academically. My greatest disappointments were the breakup of my first marriage...and of course the death of my first son was my biggest disappointment - his life was so very short.
I personally face all difficulties head on, talking, caring and looking ahead to a tomorrow that will be a little brighter for everyone. I have learned that I can face just about anything and I have a wonderful husband to share life with. My current goals are to better myself daily, help others and grow in my marriage.My life has had its up and downs but I wouldn’t change a moment of it. It has made me a more secure and understanding person.
Shortly after writing her autobiography in 1987 my mother and Lloyd moved to their house in Forestdale, just off of Route 130.
Christopher G. Parker was not merely negligent your honor, he knowingly got behind the wheel of a car leased to his wife. It is my understanding that he was uninsured to drive that car since his license had been revoked due to his being found a danger to the public. His actions prove that he has no regard or respect for the laws of this Commonwealth. When he got behind the wheel on March 5, 2007 he not only killed my Mother Diane Louise Kelsey Everett Carhart, but he irrrevokably changed the lives of Diane's many family members and friends. Not to mention the impact his actions have on his own family.
I sincerely thank you for giving my brother and me this opportunity to let you get to know our Mother and also for us to express a few of our thoughts and feelings in regards to her being taken from us suddenly due to the actions of Christopher G Parker.
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment